Fri 22nd Feb. Milk Cookies and Popcorn.

No Bocaria today as I was the only one signed up really but more importantly Tracey had to go to the hospital in the hope that she today would speak to the Doctor. The Doctor didn’t have time yesterday. They are hoping to take the girl on Monday. So if she comes and Tino gets home next week it’s going to be a very busy week/month.

That left me with an unexpected free morning. I started a water fight with Tracey’s dorm. How much fun was that? It has been so nice going out to the park and 8 voices in unison short Mama Chris. It took them a few days to get their tongues around the difference between saying Mama Tracey and Mama Chris and quite often I think have been called Tracey. They are such a merry bunch and a joy to be around. Last night Vella left with her dorm and seeing Paulito growing and leaving with them was amazing.

Then a little but of time in the Baby House and a nap before Shoprite. I only really wanted to use the internet but no! Tracey came and brought Filishmina and Sina. It was such a riot. Sina sitting in the front row and me in the back making faces at each other. We laughed so much. Bought bananas for the baby house as they only get fruit once a week at the start of the weeks so fruit this late in the week much appreciated. I also got some candy for Tracey and Vela’s dorms.

I thought I would treat myself to some chicken and chips from the chicken palace. Well as a warning to others please don’t go there, not so good!

Joined the kids for dinner tonight. It was fish – head and eyes still all there. I really don’t think I have been as happy to receive help with this meal. The kids were eating it all including the bones!

The plan for tonight is to give the girls cookies along with milk. So Nancy has been away for two months and in that time I found it so hard to get my head around. Milk only happens once a week because it is so expensive. The reception Nancy received was incredible when they saw her arrive with milk.

So tonight was a treat, milk cookies and popcorn. They loved it. Watching Paulito’s drink his was almost heartbreaking. He had obviously really missed getting it and also he knew that the cup was not finished. I think they really touched Nancy. Tonight she told me about one of the girls who had stopped eating because they were teasing her she was fat. You think it’s a western thing but definitely not. Being with the girls has just been amazing.

Thurs 21st Feb. Seeing Tino for the last time.

More bombs in distance feels a little heard to get used to. Gill left this morning. It seemed weird saying bye to her. We gave got on very well and have really enjoyed this humour we share.

This morning I took Domingoes from Laura’s dorm for a walk. He is blind and lacks a lot in education. Most of his day is spent waiting and sitting and not much else. So I got his Sapatos on him and took him to the playground. He is lovely. Laura told me about him on Monday. He actually has no eyes. They actually think some removed them rather than being born without them and so is obviously just a burden to people. We sat for ages on the swing together, he just kept hugging me. It was so nice. Then over to the baby house. Was pleasantly surprised to see Louisa there for a change. Got go give Irene her bottle. That took ages! I have also learnt how to tie capalanas round heads! I really think that to say I am a natural is pushing it way to far.

The Tia's were laughing at me. This is a really good team on at the moment. Vasco just is clinging to me the whole time and today I wonder if he actually is partially if not full deaf. I know Tracey has said he is sick a lot of the time and has lost a kilo in recent weeks and so there is a question over his HIV status and will probably get tested.

I rested over lunch time and felt the better for it. 3pm and I left for the hospital with Domingoes. Travelling in a Sharpa really is a step of faith. The seats I would not recommend getting (mind you if you get a seat you are doing well) 1) Directly behind the driver 2) Directly above the wheel! Heading down into Maputo I had full view of the dash. The speedometer didn’t even work! My mother would have been having kittens had she been there. So many minutes later and also prayers we arrive at the hospital. There were three kids to see, Alfredo, Dino and Tino. This would be the last time I would see Tino and unless by some miracle from God which is possible, the last time ever.

Dino looked a whole lot better today. His eyes are not as sunken and his diarrhoea is slowing down. The feeding tube is still in and will be for a while but I was amazed as to in just 24 hours how much better he looked. Domingoes was sweet with him. Holding Dino you feel if you put too much pressure on his ribs when you lift him he will break. The cry is still there but not to the same extent. Today he fell asleep in my arms. That just felt the most amazing thing. The babies have done it before but to have Dino felt quite an honour especially as he has not slept really since the centre for him. Leaving him was a little hard but yet there is so much hope surrounds him and the situation. I feel and also knowing the track record which Tracey and Zimpeto has re malnourished children and recovery I feel that when I am back Dino will be running around.

Headed down to see Alfredo. He has been moved the other way round in his bed. That is pretty amazing, also discovered he gets another visitor I think her name is Elise. She is Portuguese and working with a mission with sports and schools. It was a real pleasure t meet and talk with her but I some how don’t think Domingoes was happy. I did as him but I think he was putting a good face on things. What the future is for Alfredo only the Lord knows. Elise was going to talk to the hospital to see it they thought some medical thing could be done, will keep praying. Then onto see Tino.

On the positive he looked more peaceful than I have seen him for a while but the negative he is now deaf. His hearing has gone and the convulsions are not lessening. What or how do you begin to pray? I know he couldn’t hear me but I hoped he knew I was there. He is SO him. Walking away from the ward I did my best to hold it together, which was hard. I can’t wait to get home to realise how I feel about this with people I feel comfortable doing that with. It just seems too hard to understand and before I came away I knew I may not see him. He was the one I said to Jac, I hope I see all the kids but with Tino I just don’t know. I remember so strongly saying it. It was as if I knew or I was being prepared not to see him. Today he has a very high fever. But on his nappy it says God bless you. It's written all over it in very tiny writing.

Tracey has been a rock through this. Coming back we made it in time for church but some how celebration was not on my heart. I sat at the back of church and really struggled to hold it together with the emotion of the last few days. Church was hard for a number of reasons.

We were asked to pray for Rolland as he is meant to be coming for the international conference but isn’t well enough to be at Zimpeto.

After church was over tonight I went to Tracey’s house to pick up a few parcels and stayed for a cuppa tea …. An hour and a bit later I was leaving. Talking to Tracey is just lovely. She is such a nice women and so approachable. I feel having spoken to her these last few days about various things I would have such a better feeling about coming back. It really has been a blessing sharing these weeks with her. I do hope that her adoptions come through soon. So here I am at 10.30pm cooking my first proper meal of the day. Hamburgers – if its not donkey!

I also don’t think adopting Vasco and Lucy will be possible. They have a father! He has remarried but at the moment it living next to an open sewer and obviously Iris would not let kids go back to that. I am happy they are not total orphans and one day should go back into the family.

Tino today is really in a vegetative state and tomorrow it will have been a month since he went in first of all. He was out for a few nights before I went it but went back in on this Thursday when it was safer to travel. In a place where we have seen miracles and people raised from the dead it’s hard to understand why not Tino. Heidi will be here for the international conference. Tracey really wants her to pray for Tino not because she think he will be healed by Heidi does have a gifting there. I hope it’s a private thing.

Wed 20th Feb. Beatings, Bombs and Bread fights

Today I headed off to Kongo late again. Becky’s father and brother came. It was lovely being back. Some things have changed. The main being running water. The pump has gone. Seeing the pastor was nice.

Back in time for lunch and I had a chance to sit and chat to Gill then the booming started. The munitions dump bombs again. Gill and Anna seemed panicked but that honestly didn’t bother me. Some of them were controlled!

Had a chance to catch up with Nancy. That was so nice. It did feel a little weird being here without her. It feels more like home! Now that Nancy is back and there are bombs going off. Gill was ill again this afternoon.

Spent some time outside and at the baby house before street ministry. Jentrode was outside with her kite. Well it’s a black bag on some string but it works well. Vela has now got Paulito living in her dorm. I thought he had escaped from the baby house but its amazing seeing him move on. Vasco not in good form. I wish I knew what was wrong.

So street ministry…………………..

I feel emotionally wrecked after this and probably a little amount of fear for the first time. We got dropped in the ‘posh part’ of town and walked a minute and were standing on a mini bocaria in the middle of the city. Tonight I was wearing flip flops and walking over only God knows what. I had been to this site before but on the opposite side of the street praying outside the jail as the guys who lived on the rubbish has been arrested earlier in the day for making too much noise – but now we were back with them on the rubbish praising God!

One guy had a massive bandage on his shoulder to cover a wound he got when someone stabbed him last week. It is evident a lot of guys suffer from alcohol. I felt like a day tonight as one of them kissed me on the back of the hand! Of course he wanted one back so an air kiss had to do him I’m afraid. An older Christian woman came to join us. She lives in the house next door and so each week when the team arrive she shows up. In the back of my mind I’m also thinking does she comes for the free bead each week, even so if that is the case she has the courtesy to listen to them preach. Maybe the bread is the reason why each of the kids/men comes back week after week but my prayer is that one day they will fall on good soil.

The guys from Iris protected us quite a lot on this site so I don’t know if something happened and they have been told to look out for us. The other thing I discovered later is most of the guys are packing a gun!
The bus came back for us and took us to another location, this one seemed to be a busy road and at what looked like an unused bus stop beside a church were some guys and a girl sitting on the bench waiting for the bus to arrive. I preached for a bit then the guys took over. As we spoke the crowd grew bigger. Mostly older men. Then the time for the bread to be given out and among some of the older guys they started to fight with Dinis and Ernesto who were giving out the bread. No matter how many times you see people fighting for bread is very hard to watch. As this was going on the police were gathering being with one of the guys was quite drunk and started to provoke the police. First he ran away and one of the police went to get a baton so when he came back and gave them more agro the police started to chase him and beat the life out of him. The police are carrying guns and for the first time I felt fear. These guys are waving the guns around like they are scarves and also standing very close to me. I felt so unsafe.

Watching real life Maputo is not at all easy. We waited for the bus for hours. Well at that point it seemed like it, but it gave me a chance to talk to the guy who translated for me. He used to live at the dump for two years and then the streets for three before one night Heidi found him and brought him back.
The testimony to what one woman has done in so many lives is amazing. Seeing the police chase this guy really has freaked me and also the bread fights. This trip to Moz is not at all what I fought and that is a good day. Each day brings new experiences and adventures.

Tues 19th Feb. Malnutrition & Answered Prayers

What a day – so hard but so beautiful. The plan for today was to spend a reasonably relaxed day, hangout with Tracey – going to see Tino, a bite of lunch, spot of shopping, then home. What today kinda felt like but in a good way was work experience or shadowing. The following is a day in the life of Tracey. Not typical I am sure but none the less.

It started quite easily for her. A shift change meeting for the Tia’s. Then the realisation that with two kids in the hospital someone needed to do a shift change with them – that took a little working out. In fact the truth is Iris has three kids in the hospital. Two in the children’s ward and a third 11 year old, who they have put on the men’s ward, He has no one with him at all. He is HIV positive, so all three kids who are in hospital are HIV positive.

Eventually we get to leave. The plan is to go to Shoprite, go see Tino and Dino – grab some lunch, do a little more shopping, and go to the bible store. We hit Shoprite for a long shop. The biggest and most urgent thing on the list was fraldas – nappies. With two kids in hospital with diarrhoea these are quite urgent.

As this is Africa/Mozambique things change the whole time. On our way to Shoprite, Tracey’s phone rang to say that the doctor was waiting for her and she had to come urgently to the Malnutrition ward. So we abandoned shopping and headed straight to the hospital. I wasn’t sure if I could get to the ward but Tracey got us both in. So at least I had seen Dino at the centre and knew the shape he was in. Tracey had not seen him until now. Dino was in hospital before and now weighs 5 kgs. He lost about 3 kgs while he was in the hospital. That apparently is common, kids go into this malnutrition ward and loose lots of weight– go figure that!

Dino has not kept any food down for a few weeks. He cries constantly with hunger. That is very hard to listen to. Bu if they give him what he wants too much uncontrolled food will make him sicker. The doctor was there for a bit but didn’t really say anything to Tracey except we have done an Aids test and its positive. Then she disappeared for ages but told us to wait, so wait he did! A lot.

From my observation of other Doctors and his training he seemed to do a through job. The children on this ward were so malnourished. It’s hard to understand how parents let their kids get to this state. Tracey says it happens all the time. I don’t know if there is any sort of education classes on how to spot malnutrition. This ward for me has been a heart breaking, eye opening insight to Mozambique. Tracey just held Dino. The one encouraging thing about him is his will. He is strong enough to push her away and stretch his arms out for food. Tracey reckons it’s his will which is keeping him alive; he would be dead by now if not. We reckon his story goes something like this.

He has been a healthy baby and then starts to get sick (his HIV kicks in); mother eventually takes him to the hospital. They do an Aids test which comes back positive so the mother freaks and just leaves the baby and never comes back. In my mind my heart thinks who is with the mother. How desperate is she that her only answer is to leave her son.

So after about an eternity the Doctor comes back. Now it must take ages here to become qualified so this Doctor looks so old. Tracey speaks to her and she then escorts Tracey to another room. The thing I forgot to mention. Tracey spoke to a man for a little bit. White, looked a little but like Father Christmas. She said, I’ll tell you later about him so I will come back to that.

Anyway Tracey finally emerges and says too me, come here and see. There are two more children they want us to take! So a fury of phone calls to the center to try and get Liz who deals with the new intakes and integrates and home visits and a conversation or two with more Doctors, she takes me to another room where there is a boy and a girl.

Maria, she was brought in and couldn’t walk and was so malnourished. Now she is feeding herself and walking and if they get the go ahead could take her home soon. There is a father somewhere but her not seen her for ages. Preferably Irish would like to find the father, talk to him before they take her in or see if there is a way they could help the father look after her through the programme.

The other boy we don’t know if he can see and is in a very bad state. He will be in for a long time; Iris has no issue and has a good track record at looking after malnourished children. Sina, Joao and Yuran, the twins now also.

The hospital is very keen that Iris takes these kids as they don’t want them going to Padre Andre’s orphanage.

To my astonishment the man Tracey was talking to is Padre Andre. Yuran came from his orphanage and the time I was there the Australians went to see it and came back wrecked. So this orphanage is not good news. He is paying a woman to look after these two kids and I think as I said to Tracey he was touting for trade. Like an ambulance chaser almost. I felt quite sick at the thought of this.

The hospital also now refuses to give him any kids anymore because they know what his place are life. It was amazing to be there and see what and be part of all this happening. All my frustration at waiting for this doctor to come back soon past when I realise Tracey was being asked to take two more kids.

So Tracey rang Liz and talked to her. Liz was over the moon. We discovered that Liz and Ros have been trying for months to make contact with that doctor. Tracey has written to her but no response and now three mins with Tracey a door they have been praying for, for months is beginning to open and I get to see it! How cool!

Talking later to Tracey I discover that she and Ros have been praying for a door to open into the hospitals and the last few months a glint of light has begun to show but only last night as she was praying about her involvement with the baby house and with hospitals and the next phrase, and today it would appear a significant step forward has been made. It’s amazing to see prayers answered and in front of you. She had to go back in Thursday to have a proper chat with the doctor.

We went to Mimos for lunch and had an excellent chat and really good time together. She truly is an amazing person.

Sadly the bible shop did not have the ones I wanted; hopefully Tracey will get me one and send it back via someone.

We talked about the car accident she was in. The driver was going to fast and the breaks were not working correctly and when you see the truck it’s a miracle no one died. Chatting life in Moz through with Tracey has been so helpful. We went back to the new hypermarket. Seeing Tetley tea in Moz does not seem right. The western influence in this shop is madness. But something’s are cheaper here so that’s why we came.

Headed back to hospital with all the things we needed and also food for the Tia’s. I just love having time with Tracey and seeing her heart.

At the hospital Tracey’s phone rang to say that a woman had turned up at the centre looking to adopt a three year old, so things are never dull. They tried to feed Tino without the tube, but no way, he has lost the ability to swallow.

Tracey and I talked about Vasco – there is a large part of me wants to adopt him but know there is no way and also I could take Vasco without Lucy and I would be happy to do that, but there is just no way. So it was shoprite and then home.

I am wrecked but very excited for Tracey – gutted, well gutted is not right, but saddened by the malnutrition ward and seeing sights of malnourished kids – yet this is the Moz I asked to see and it has been a blessing yet so hard.

Sun 17th Feb. Bocaria Kids, Hospital and Dancing

Had the worse dream ever last night. Didn’t sleep well. So I got up early for bread. Bread and black tea was the breakfast option. The girls were tucking into it. Just dry bread.

Church was amazing. I sat with the baby house kids and Tracey’s dorm. I have danced and sweated so much this morning. Then the best part being brought up to be prayed for. It was so amazing. I felt because of building relationship's with some of the kids they wanted to pray for me because they know me. The sound in church was doing my head in and one the mic cables has a loose connection so I found it hard to stay seated and not walk over to help.

Church was eventually over and I am out of my skirt! Headed back to church where I knew the older ladies would be waiting and the kids from the Bocaria.

I sat with the kids while we waited for lunch and we played around and laughed with them. Then lunch time. I can honestly say I don’t think I have ever had better company for my Sunday dinner. It really was an honour to spend time and share food. Lunch was rise with some sort of pasta soup given to us on a plate. So for the first time I ate a little with my hands. Ok! This stuff is so hot my fingers are burning just lifting a little rice and pasta. This possible was the only substantial meal they will get all week and they are lifting this hot food like its nothing an enjoying every bite, I just could not sit and watch them without giving them mine. So as much as I could I divided it up among 12 very hungry mouths.


Kids from the Bocaria
Good Grub.

The oldest women are the last to be fed. I saw a lady walking up with the aid of a walking stick and she really needed it but once she was on her way back she had both hands on the plate and wasn’t able to walk. No one was helping her. I just couldn’t get over that so I don’t know if it was culturally insensitive but I got up and carried her soup. They looked at me like I was strange. Anyway having lunch with these guys was amazing.

So from that straight to hospital ministry. Travelling in a Sharpa is a very hairy experience. These trucks are meant to seat about 15 people, so 45 people later they think they are full! Standing in a sharpa is not as much fun as the back of a cameo truck. Seeing Domingoes again has been excellent. He is such a warm loving caring guy who wants to be a Dr. We chatted in the bus and he hasn’t seen his family in over 7-8 years. He prays for them but says he doesn’t know with the floats if they are still alive. This guy has faithfully visited and become family to Alfredo.

We started at the hospital. Domingoes had no money to buy bananas so it just seemed wrong to go to hospital without bananas, so the cost of bananas if so cheap.

First stop was Tino. Why? I can’t or maybe don’t know how to write how this has effected me and this is only one boy out of how many each day die from Aids.

We then went round the ward, what I can only assume was a respiration ward. I went to pray for a mother and her 2 month baby. This child was so malnourished. The skin was hanging off her bones. She really was just boned. I think she maybe had TB as well as she was coughing, it was only blood that was coming out. Her mother looked very ill also. Before I started to pray I noticed a witch doctor Charm around her wrists. I don’t think I have ever felt as angry.

Through Domingoes translating I preached to the mother that the witch doctors would not be able to save her child and prayer and belief in Jesus was the only true way. I then preached today to cut the charms off the kid. I was so angry and was binding and loosing this that and the other. The sad thing was that this was not the only child like this. Every room we went into had one or two children with witch doctors things on them. Between Domingoes and me we cleared everything and renounced what we could.

This felt like real warfare and pretty heave really stuff. I do wonder what if any of the stuff gets attacked to you, any way I covered myself also! This did feel heavy stuff. We headed on to see Alfredo on the burns unit. I had forgotten how awful the burns unit is. There was a baby there who had obviously fallen bum first onto a fire. This kid couldn’t even have a nappy. How he will ever walk again only God knows.

Alfredo’s head is so much bigger. Domingoes is so good with him. Alfredo is a lovely boy. Sadly Zimpeto don’t have the medical capacity to deal with him.

The offer of KFC was greatly received was very hungry as I didn’t manage to eat lunch and heat was sapping me.

On the bus ride back we pulled in somewhere and I was sitting at the window and a Mozambican said “Hey my friend wants to marry you”. So if nothing else ever comes up I know I have a man in Moz who wants to marry me!

I still can’t get used to women just breast feeding anywhere. Today in church and then on the Sharpa! Just seems too weird. Well I tried to go find some space this afternoon or early evening when we got back and so I got some photos of the wall which has been rebuilt and met a new kid who I gave a met too so he could buy some cabosa.

Evelyn then tracked me down to go and have a drink with Mateus, He has an amazing story. He is one of Heidi’s original boys and was there in the car the tine of the tree story. I want to get an email of his testimony. Meeting him has blown me away and helps restore your faith in humanity.

The girls are back from the conference. Gill has not been well at all.

Headed outside for a little but tonight and some people were under the tree worshipping. So Pai came over and we were talking about dancing in church in London. I said to him people don’t dance. I want everyone to see his face! It was so shocked – this led him to teach me to dance so I could teach the church how to dance – this was hilarious. Well Pai and me dancing. I LOVED IT.

It has to be said that today has been such a mix of emotion. But an amazing day.

Sat 16th. Market Shopping.

Had a good night’s sleep and this morning headed off souvenir shopping (again!) honestly? I think I just wanted out for lunch. Today on the trip Pai and Rosa came with us. Pia had got dressed up for the occasion. He had his Timberland boots on. So I planned to go and buy nothing! Have come back with a table 300mts, 2 pairs of trousers 250mts, a bag 300mts – that was a hard bargain and some cards, I think I paid too much but don’t care. I love the market. John also came with us. It seems odd seeing him without Andy. He has apparently gone back to some family members. Oh I also got a pair of very fake Havana’s for about 50mts - £1.

John

Pia.

Lunch was good. Travelling through this city I found myself wandering how much it would cost to buy a house here.

I sat beside Jennie on the way back and chatting to her is a lot of fun. Her heart is really to work in the communities and help them with medicine. She was telling me that in Moz most bodies are buried inside 24 hours. A rotting corpse in 45 degrees is not what any person wants around. Also meds are meant to be kept at 25 degrees – so working in communities without a fridge to store them in is very hard.

Over lunch Pai had a sip of one of the other guy’s milk shakes – you want to have seen his face! Them some ordered a second round of drinks and he ordered his own! Pia with his first ever chocolate milkshakes! Chatting to him today I discovered that actually his real name is ……..

So how he got Pia is anybody’s guess. I think he maybe picked it u on the street and it stuck.

Coming back I spent some time with Paulo in the girl’s room. He is growing well and it seems however he has no use of his left side. How this has happened is quite sad. The back to my favourite place of the baby house.

Dino has been taken into hospital. His vomiting and diarrhoea would not stop. Everything they put inside him came back out in someway. His eyes were more sunken into his head and they just don’t know what the main problem is.

Nemias was back! He had gone to his father over night. His father is Raphael, one of the Pastors here. His wife/girlfriend died in childbirth leaving him with Nemias. He was very sick as a baby and Raphael didn’t really know how to look after him so brought him to the center on the agreement that he would start to look after him when the time was right. Now seems to be that time but the pattern looks like Raphael takes him and passes him onto another family member and then he returns him the next day. They are bonding which is great but if he will ever be able to look after him is another question.

I went for a walk to fine some ‘space’ as I seem to have a shadow here, it’s hard to shake. On a compound of 350 kids, finding a quiet spot is not at all easy. But as it was Saturday I reckoned the school rooms were a safeish bet. So I sat journaling for a little bit but soon enough I had a new friend Mercia. She is 8 and came and sat with me and drew me pictures. She then drew a picture of her and her ‘brother’. In fact her sister Olga, the younger Olga. They are very sweet together. We had a lovely time together counting, drawing etc.

Mercia

A relative of Fransico and Lorenzo came today and from what we could make out wanted to take them back. At least they put their foot down and would not let take them.

So I wandered down to the girl’s dorm tonight. The TV is broken so no DVD or milk tonight. But was impressed that they were eating all together. Rose tells me that each Saturday night the girls cook and learn how to cooks and then eat together. She shows me how she kills a chicken and chops its head off. Something I have never done! And can honestly say I have no plans to in the near future.

She told me Ailsa was at the woman’s conference. Its moments like this I wish I had gone. I then took a walk to see what the boys were watching, basketball. Hummmmm

Sitting outside was one of the boys. Just sitting in the sand with crisp packets and an empty soap box. He called me over to help him. All this boy wanted was someone to sit in the dirt with him and fill a few plastic crisp packets or pieces of plastic with sand so he could them for what ever he wanted to build. 20 minutes I sat just doing this and being instructed by him, as to what would be good and what would not. He was so happy to have someone help him. How many kids at home would be happy to sit and lift handfuls of sand into empty walker’s bags!

This evening has been lovely, am finding not getting any space really hard and still feel quite numb from some of the emotions going on inside and tonight I do feel quite lonely which is quite strange. I keep looking around and thinking I want to lift so many of these kids and raise them as my own. Feels very weird.

John said today my Portuguese was very good! Compared to what I don’t know. But I felt pleased. Today has been amazing. To be able to spend time with two kids just giving them love and time has been incredible.