Monday, Monday

I am thinking of starting a different blog – just for Monday afternoons at the Bocaria! Yet again…. I am amazed and come away so joyfilled.

For the last number of weeks we have been teaching on the Holy Spirit. Yesterday, we felt it was right to teach on being filled with the Holy Spirit. What a day!

Both Vella and I in the morning were feeling so sick, tired, had bad headaches. Vella came very close to cancelling it. Then we both twigged what we were teaching on and actually what was coming against us to attack and stop what God has intended for that afternoon at the dump.

So yesterday was about 42 degrees, which means the dump would be hotter and smokier than normal. JOY!

The teaching went well. I go to use the example of being filled with Holy Spirit by covering one of the boys in a gallon of water! The kids I am sure will never forget that illustration!

Then we asked for those who wanted to be filled to raise their hands, and slowly about 25 kids hands went up (there were about 40 there in total.) We went round them all individually and prayed for them. Nothing wacky went on, but it was clear that Holy Spirit was coming on them very gently and some lost in his presence and others burning with the power in them. Just a truly amazing afternoon and another reminder that God will see his purpose fulfilled regardless of how ill we feel and don’t want to do things.

It's a Gas, Gas, Gas!

For weeks/months there has been a real issue with the gas in Mozambique. It ran out long before Christmas and getting a tank was impossible, we even looked at bringing them in from South Africa. Well, finally the gas slowly started to come back into circulation just over 2 weeks ago. So hot showers again. Yeah!

That was until this morning…….. I got into the shower to find the water was back to cold! Surely we did not use a whole gas tank in one week. I know I like my showers but really. In fact I was right – we didn’t use it- the gas tank had been stolen! Well the truth is that it was disconnected and sitting the back garden. They had been disturbed last night trying to steal it!

Life here has very few luxuries. Hot water is one!! Now I am going to have to not only pray for the gas to continue but for the tank not to get stolen!! Deep Sigh – This is Africa!

Heartbreak and Joy

If you really want to be taken into new depths of understanding the suffering in this world then there is one simple request to ask of the Lord, “Break my heart with the things that break yours.” Let me tell you this is a very dangerous prayer to pray. I may have happened to utter these words a few days ago. It seems this is a prayer that the Lord is only too willing to answer quickly. BE WARNED!

So God took it upon himself to show me today one thing that broke his heart recently.
We have a new girl in the girl's area today and her brother has gone to one of the other dorms. She is lovely. Maybe I say that about all the kids, maybe I am biased but she really is.

We think that maybe she is 6/7 years old. Her mother abandoned them a while ago we don’t know when. So they were left in the care of their father. Her father decided to show her how much he loved her by repeatedly sexually abusing her. SHE IS 7 YEARS OLD. Every bone of righteous anger in me is ready for a fight tonight. Everything within me wants the world to listen to this. Yet everything within me knows, she is one girl. How many more girls are in the sex trade tonight, how many more is this happening to right now….. Somehow for me I find it harder when I know it’s a father who has done this. For me a family is a place of love and trust and safety (I know I am very blessed to have that). How can a father do this? How will this girl trust a father figure again… even more, how will she understand that the love from her Father in heaven is good?.

It wasn’t till I walked away from her that I was overwhelmed with sorrow and heartbreak for what she experienced. It took a while for the tears to stop. However, at the same time I was so thankful for her being able to come here and be loved by the amazing young woman who oversees the girl's area.

Muitos Palavra (Many words)

An interesting change of direction has been occuring in my life over the last few weeks. Apparently God thinks it would be a good idea that I teach in the Bible School here. Glad to say I can see him smiling at me and also being slightly amused at this prospect. So Friday morning sees me up for my first Class. I have two subjects, and I am very excited about teaching both (remind me of that in a few weeks, when the cries of "What am I doing?" may start!)

So I kick off on Friday by teaching on Praise and Worship and then after some changes I get to teach on Leadership – something I have had A LOT of input on from my church in London and am thankful for. So now I get to really use it.

Of course, you are probably thinking, "Teaching can't be that bad!" Well…… I have to teach a 90 minute class twice a week and with a translator! Oh, and I also have to teach in a skirt!!! Yeah! Now you are laughing at me. And think of the poor translator translating my accent! Please pray for it all. The preparation, the class, the translator and Me!

I have a new temporary house mate, Clara. She is lovely, from Brazil and at the moment speaks as much English as I do Portuguese, so we felt it would be a good idea to do some word exchange last night. We were still going at 11.35 – it was so funny (and of course very good educationally). I hear myself trying to explain to her the difference between – Our, Hour and Are! Well for those of you who know what my accent is like – there is NO difference in the way I say these three words. Poor Clara, she looked at me and said "Nao Entender" which roughly means "I do not understand". Bless her! If I was in her shoes I would "Nao entender" me either! So she is going to be learning Irish English. My other Brazilian friend Celia spent time in Toronto with a girl from Bangor so she can actually mimic me very well – maybe even a little too well!

So I am now heading to prepare a lesson on Praise for Friday.

Ponta d'Ouro

Living here, I have been told many times, you don't realise how much you need the break until you are away. Well I can now say that is certainly true. This last weekend I went to Ponta d'Ouro. It's a beach town on the very tip of Mozambique just before the border with South Africa. As the Portuguese speakers say "Muito Linda" which translates as very beautiful.

It took about 4 hours to travel 180km. I have never "off roaded" before so this was a new experience and one I would happily repeat again. I am very grateful to my friend Celia who drove her car through the pot holes, bumps and sand roads. I don't see how this would be possible without a 4x4. The craic on the journey was excellent and seeing more of Mozambique even better.

We stopped on the way south at a place called Healing Wings. It's an amazing place - a rehabilitation centre for drug addicts and alcoholics. The programme is one year. My heart was broken when I found out that their youngest resident at the moment is 13/14 years old – addicted to drugs. Somehow in my mind I stupidly thought people didn't mess with drugs till they went to Uni! How sheltered a life I have had in many ways.

One thing our guide said really stuck with me. She has been through the programme and is clean and now working on the centre. She is studying social work and in her own words has experienced too many social workers, etc. who didn't really help her. The only thing that made a difference in her life and helped her get clean was God. She has tried so many other options and came to Healing Wings as almost a last resort. But her testimony is that, "It was God who helped me and God who made the difference."

On the road down we met a traffic jam – cattle, felt like I was at home in Ireland. Very little of the road was tarmaced. We were driving though "fields" and sand dunes - nothing else in sight. Thank goodness we didn't have a flat tyre, or engine problems. The scenery blew my mind, but not quite as much as when we got to the resort.

It was right on the shore with a beautiful blue sea and sandy beaches. Just a little piece of heaven right on the tip of Moz. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. From the house we stayed in we had a seaview. Almost as good as Portballintrae! I remembered how much I miss walking along the edge of the ocean thinking about life. The weekend was just amazing - relaxing, refreshing, great company air con and incredible showers! I stayed in a power shower for an hour.

My one hope was to swim with Dolphins which sadly didn't quite happen as the sea was too rough.

The journey back took a slightly different route but one still as beautiful. We found a small reserve, with monkeys out in the wild, and some birds I have never seen before. All in all an amazing weekend.

Do have a look at some of the photos. I have to say this weekend was a much needed break – the life of a "missionary" is not always as plush!

7 in 7 days

In the last week we have had an additional 7 kids to the Baby House and 18 in total over the center, this feels like some sort of a record. It has been so amazing to be able to bring them here. Please see the photos.

The latest addition to the Baby House is Adilson who arrived on Wedneday. We are not quite sure about all the details of his story but malnourishment, abandonment by care givers, death of parents and possible abuse are all in the mix. What we have been told is that his care givers left him outside the house the whole day to look after himself. He is only just turned 2!

When he first arrived, when people went near him he let a defensive cry out of him. Thankfully I was one of the ones who he allowed get close. Big sad eyes, thin arms and legs and a extended stomach which most likely is full of worms as he has hardly eaten anything except dropped scraps of food.

Never in the West have I seen a 2 year old who knows to lift the end of their t-shirt to wipe their own tears away. The difference in a western 2 year old's life and one here really hits hard at that point.

Adilson turned 2 on Monday. I am sure there was no celebration over that and I wonder what those 2 years have been like for him.

I spent a lot of time with him on Wednesday and for a brief moment got a smile from his sad, scared face. I went back yesterday to playing with him and had another major break through – he started to laugh. I can’t begin to imagine what the adjustment is like from living in the community to here. But pray for him as he goes through it. He, like all the kids here is very precious.

Tonight church was yet another reminder of what God can do with broken lives. I watched one of our older lads deliver the message. “We must go and preach to the broken, the poor, those in jail. And take the love of God with us. God has a call for each one of us!” It did feel strange at the start to hear this message here, but yet so right. To see what happens in a young man's life when he totally surrenders to God and to see the anointing God has placed on him- feels like a privilege to know this man. The response was amazing and the church felt electric.

Well, I am off for a few days to the beach. This has possibly been one of the longest weeks since getting here. There are one or two “fires” I am fighting this week and would appreciate extra prayer. Also theft is mad at the moment. I arrived in church tonight to discover that the DVD player has gone. In one way this bitter sweet as we needed a new one anyway, but that’s not the point! Also do pray for Mozambique. Please see the news report.

So here’s to a safe journey and hopefully swimming with Dolphins (something I have always wanted to do).

Chosen

30 years ago today a choice was made about my life that I don’t at all regret. I was chosen by my adoptive parents to come and live with them and make us a family. That choice was the beginning of what led to me ending up here in Mozambique.

We all ask the questions: “I wonder what if?” or “If only I…” How different life could have been. There are moments when I know that if that choice had not been made I would have had a very different life. A life which would not have been nearly as full or vibrant or joy filled as it is and I would never have met many of you who are reading this. Of course like most lives there are moments of pain and sadness but today I am choosing to forget all those and to look at my many blessings over the last 30 years and give thanks for the loving parents I have.

Being here makes me realise how immensely blessed I am to have this. I am surrounded by kids who, at a very young age, have come to live here because a parent has died, abused or abandoned them or they are safer here. Some of these kids have no choice in this situation or the choice has been made for them.

God stepped into my life the day I was conceived and thought I was worth breathing life into. I know that some days God and I have big battles when I am not feeling too hot about life and the problems I have, which of course is me just having a grumble and not really being serious about the circumstances I am in. But on the whole I can look back with my “years of wisdom” and see his purpose and plan for me.

God thought I was worth fighting for to ensure that his plan came into being, and he placed me in a family. Each life that we come into contact with is also worth fighting for - for salvation, for health, for love, for respect. What is your reaction to the one on the street? Do they just annoy you, or do you see past the dirt and see a broken person just needing to be shown love? Every person is a human being and has a story, some of which are full of pain and some full of joy. But the choice is ours how we treat them , react to them or whether we choose to make their day better or worse. Do we choose to bless them or curse them? Words are powerful - chose carefully how you use them.

I love the scene in Indiana Jones when he has to choose the Holy Grail. “You only have one choice, choose wisely”.

I know some haven’t had great parents but we all have a Father in Heaven who loves us lavishly, who looks at us and cries with tears of joy as he carries us in his arms along the journey. The choice today is how we respond to him.

I don't always get my own way

Do you ever get to that place where you just can’t be bothered? You know you need to be somewhere, or do something but really you heart is just not in it? Then when you bother to do it, you are glad that you have?

I found myself there today. It has been 44 degrees today. No Air Conditioning. My fan is circulating the hot air in the building and everything feels horrible.

My heart sank when someone said… “Hey it’s Church tonight.” That was the last sentence I wanted to hear. There is a LOT of church type meeting here: Sunday for 2-3 hours, Monday morning for 1.5 hours, Wednesday Home Group, 2ish hours, Thursday evening 2 hours, so if a girl isn’t careful she could spend her whole time in “Church”. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t mind it.

However, tonight I did. The thought of church in this heat, with all the dancing, singing, more sweating, a hot sound desk and listening to preaching…. Well…..it’s fair to say I asked the Lord if I had to really had to go? I would have much preferred to stand in a cold shower for 2 hours.

As it turned out I think God knew better! For me the service was amazing. There was a time at the end when we as missionaries were able to go and pray for the boys standing at the front! I prayed for a few of the guys and then came to pray for an older guy who was weeping. I put my hand on him and he broke. I don’t know what was going on with him but I know that the overwhelming sense of sorrow I had for him was real.

I sat with him for ages both crying. Sometime words don’t express the deep level of pain in life and tears become a common language. I prayed what was on my heart for him and trusting God knew all about it. I gave him a hug which seemed to break through some more of the pain and communicate that he did matter and he wasn’t alone in his place of sorrow.

At times not having the language here can be frustrating, other times actions speak louder than words. I think this was the case tonight. I was so sure I didn’t want to go to church, and yet in my stubbornness I believe God gave me a gentle reminder that despite all my weakness, he knows what he is doing, he will have his way in my life and use me no matter how much I think I know best.

Life

Tonight as I get ready to go to bed, I have the stories of a few children going through my mind. These kids aren’t from Mozambique but Uganda. They are from one of the IDP camps in Northern Uganda. I watched a film tonight called “War Dance” - quite an amazing documentary which has provoked a lot of thought.

Truthfully – it has only added to ones already there, I will attempt to share what is going through my head.

Since the news story about the massacre in the church in Congo by the LRA, it has really struck me - as I lie here at night someone in Africa is going through a horrendous ordeal. I know this is happening all over the world, but somehow in Africa taking a human life here feels like it happens all too easily.

There are child soldiers, who have been abducted and then forced to kill, sometimes their own family members. Either kill or be killed. Because they are so young they don’t have reason or negotiation skills, so they will just kill you because they have been told to do it. How do you ever help a girl who has seen her parents killed and their remains just lying rotting in front of her, or a woman who is sexually abused each time she needs to go the bathroom. We take a safe bathroom all too much for granted. Women in Africa don’t have that luxury and quite often have to go to a field where there is a man or men waiting for her. Next time you take a trip to your bathroom I suggest you thank God for running water and a safe place to go.

I am often reminded of the gift of the running water here on the centre when I drive past the people and kids in the city who are washing themselves, their clothes and their dishes in water which seems to be coming out what can only be described as the end of a sewage pipe. This is all happening in the middle of a roundabout.

Zimbabwe lies in turmoil and their money is sold on the markets here as a souvenir.
Kenya – one year on from the election fiasco and who knows really what’s happening in the country.
DRC – Where do you begin with that one and the pain that country is in.
Mozambique – 10 more people lost their lives because of flooding last night.

There was a civil war here that no one talks about, yet I am sure the people have seen some awful things. When I am in the city I see those who have been maimed by the war.

How much of the West really cares? A lot of these countries don’t have oil and the cost of human life is nothing, so what does it matter if and how one more person is killed tonight?

The West Wing is my DVD diet out here. In one of the episodes a civil war breaks out in a fictional African country. In this episode The President asks "Why is a Kuhndunese life worth less to me than an American life" and Will, one of his staff says " I don't Sir, but it is.” How sadly true is that for the world today. An African life is worth less than that of an America or British one.

When did Human value decrease so much?

Today we have taken 6 new kids into the centre. They have come from another kids centre which has been treating them very badly, sadly we have know about this for a while and people here have been praying that the centre would close down and after YEARS of prayer something has happened to allow us to take the kids today. I thank God we are able to help them at this stage of life. Pray for them as they adjust to being here.

Bocaria on Monday

Monday’s Bocaria saw me giving my first Bible lesson there. Giving talks to kids is something I have done on a number of occasions on a number of topics. For me though I think this one has to be a first. “The Witch of Endor.” (For those of you who don’t know, there is a story about a witch in the Bible, it’s in the Old Testament, that’s all the help you get if you want to read it).

The teaching was based on Witchcraft and Spritism. The kids here may be young but I am sure all have been exposed to bad spirits and all have been taken to a Witch Doctor.

So there was nothing like going in at the deep end for my first time giving a talk there. And please don't worry, I did not speak in Portuguese - I had the help of a translator who said he was relying heavily on help from the Holy Ghost to understand my accent. (He did say at the end I was easy to understand, but still thanked the Holy Ghost for his help - wasn't quite sure how to take that!)

It has to be said that for me this was an awesome afternoon. When ministering with kids and you ask them to put their hand up, normally Jimmy puts his hand up because Joe beside him did, you know what I mean. However, we asked them to close their eyes and for those who wanted to repent from being involved with Witchcraft or bad spirits to raise their hand. Well the response was amazing, there was no – “I’ll do it cause he’s doing it” This was a real heart response. And I pray that those hearts God touched will be able to gain strength and trust in Him. Next week sees a series on the Holy Spirit. I get to talk on Who is the Holy Spirit?….now where did I put my Alpha notes!

It's Gonna Rain

Steve Reich, a minimalist composer, wrote a piece where he used the phrase "It's Gonna Rain". In it he looped this phrase and built a composition of 17 mins 50 sec around it. The phrase was taken from a recording of a preacher in San Francisco talking about the story of Noah and the flood. 

As I sat in my room on Sunday morning watching the heavens open and the rain come down this piece of music kept coming to mind. 

Being from Ireland naturally the rain is part of life, you put on a coat and get on with life. When rain comes here I love it. It feels like a little piece of home. Sunday though was different. 

I sat in the chair in my room with the door open watching the sheets of rain come down. I got a text to say that my new room had a flood in it, so went over to find that because I had left my windows wide open,  the rain didn't think about stopping outside the window. There was a leak in the ceiling and my newly painted walls had dirty rain marks down them. I was not happy and really asked if I had heard the call to Africa right! (this is often the first question when things don't quite go right for me here!). 

Having cleaned up my room and got a bucket for the leak I went back to the dry room and back to the nice chair. As I sat and observed more rain,  it suddenly hit me where I was and how petty I was being. 

I am in Mozambique, where in 2000 many lost their lives, family members, homes, possessions, jobs because of the floods. It really stuck me as I sat in what to many would be luxury - a room with a good ceiling and solid wall that many at this moment were in a straw huts, some with no roofs, others were on the garbage dump watching their small shelters being battered by the rain. Others where praying I am sure that the river bank would not overflow. Others were watching their piece of cardboard turn to mush in front of them. Really.... what was I complaining about?. I am incredibly fortunate to have only one leak and windows which I will remember to close. 

Being in the capital we are blessed to be fairly flood free, there are areas in the city where some of the roads are not fit to drive on but it's the provinces above us which are badly affected. The news reports this week about deaths during the rain at the weekend and the prediction for the rain this weekend does not help fear of more loss subside. 

I will enjoy seeing the rain here but now with the thought of how it is effecting others more prominently in my mind. 

Happy New Year

From Mozambique Happy New Year. This is the first time I have seen the New Year in before anyone else in my family. Being on the web cam with Dad as he was in 08 and I was in 09 seemed a little odd and yet nice. They rang me just as we were hitting 09 which was lovely as throwing your arms round someone to wish them a Happy New Year didn’t really happen. This was partly because we had fireworks and when the loud ones went off the girls legged it and some of us had to follow suit and also there wasn't really anyone here to throw your arms around as it not the done thing. Being a little nervous about fireworks (ask mum and dad for the stories) I could understand their rational fear. I put my arms around one girl and had my hand on her chest covering her heart. It was beating so fast, adrenaline mixed with fear. Her grip got tighter as the bigger ones went up. A lot of the girls will also remember the bombs when they went off here and it does cause some bad memories to return.

At New Year the kids left on the centre are the ones who really have no family member anywhere. New Year is the big celebration in Mozambique (some would ask why it’s an occasion to celebrate another year of living hand to mouth). This being the case we find that a family member comes out of the woodwork to have their child back for the night but don’t want them living with them for the rest of the year.

In some ways I found it a greater privilege to see my New Year in with these kids who are in a sense the “true” orphans. A Bar-B-Que for hot dogs and setting fire to the wooden fence seem some of the high lights!. There was face painting, hat, bracelet making, games and movies. All this was topped off by the fireworks.

Mozambican culture is just bizarre. They enforce some of the craziest laws…. They are happy to let many death-trap vehicles on the road but dare set a firework off outside the 10 minute window that has been given and you get a heavy fine! Just as we finished last night the police came driving past making sure it was over and trying to catch us. Granted as most missionaries are white the police probably reckon we are more likely to have the money to pay a fine. However, in many ways I am glad it is enforced as the thought of fireworks in the hands of so many novice, and more than likely drunk users, strikes fear in my heart and makes me wonder how busy the burns unit will be in Hospital Central today.

The 10 minute window does make a lovely sight all around. As far as the horizon you see fireworks everywhere. At one stage just as we were walking back the power went off leaving us in total darkness and for a few moments the sight of all the fireworks was even more spectacular.

I was given a promise for 08 “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing”. Coming out here was definitely the new thing and to enable me to do this. I had to lay down disappointment from the past and re-trust that this would be different. So far it has been and there have been many blessings and provisions met.

I am looking forward to this year not knowing what it will bring but holding a few things in my heart that I would really like to see happen. So knowing He can do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine I wish you all the richest blessing for 2009.