Thurs 21st Feb. Seeing Tino for the last time.

More bombs in distance feels a little heard to get used to. Gill left this morning. It seemed weird saying bye to her. We gave got on very well and have really enjoyed this humour we share.

This morning I took Domingoes from Laura’s dorm for a walk. He is blind and lacks a lot in education. Most of his day is spent waiting and sitting and not much else. So I got his Sapatos on him and took him to the playground. He is lovely. Laura told me about him on Monday. He actually has no eyes. They actually think some removed them rather than being born without them and so is obviously just a burden to people. We sat for ages on the swing together, he just kept hugging me. It was so nice. Then over to the baby house. Was pleasantly surprised to see Louisa there for a change. Got go give Irene her bottle. That took ages! I have also learnt how to tie capalanas round heads! I really think that to say I am a natural is pushing it way to far.

The Tia's were laughing at me. This is a really good team on at the moment. Vasco just is clinging to me the whole time and today I wonder if he actually is partially if not full deaf. I know Tracey has said he is sick a lot of the time and has lost a kilo in recent weeks and so there is a question over his HIV status and will probably get tested.

I rested over lunch time and felt the better for it. 3pm and I left for the hospital with Domingoes. Travelling in a Sharpa really is a step of faith. The seats I would not recommend getting (mind you if you get a seat you are doing well) 1) Directly behind the driver 2) Directly above the wheel! Heading down into Maputo I had full view of the dash. The speedometer didn’t even work! My mother would have been having kittens had she been there. So many minutes later and also prayers we arrive at the hospital. There were three kids to see, Alfredo, Dino and Tino. This would be the last time I would see Tino and unless by some miracle from God which is possible, the last time ever.

Dino looked a whole lot better today. His eyes are not as sunken and his diarrhoea is slowing down. The feeding tube is still in and will be for a while but I was amazed as to in just 24 hours how much better he looked. Domingoes was sweet with him. Holding Dino you feel if you put too much pressure on his ribs when you lift him he will break. The cry is still there but not to the same extent. Today he fell asleep in my arms. That just felt the most amazing thing. The babies have done it before but to have Dino felt quite an honour especially as he has not slept really since the centre for him. Leaving him was a little hard but yet there is so much hope surrounds him and the situation. I feel and also knowing the track record which Tracey and Zimpeto has re malnourished children and recovery I feel that when I am back Dino will be running around.

Headed down to see Alfredo. He has been moved the other way round in his bed. That is pretty amazing, also discovered he gets another visitor I think her name is Elise. She is Portuguese and working with a mission with sports and schools. It was a real pleasure t meet and talk with her but I some how don’t think Domingoes was happy. I did as him but I think he was putting a good face on things. What the future is for Alfredo only the Lord knows. Elise was going to talk to the hospital to see it they thought some medical thing could be done, will keep praying. Then onto see Tino.

On the positive he looked more peaceful than I have seen him for a while but the negative he is now deaf. His hearing has gone and the convulsions are not lessening. What or how do you begin to pray? I know he couldn’t hear me but I hoped he knew I was there. He is SO him. Walking away from the ward I did my best to hold it together, which was hard. I can’t wait to get home to realise how I feel about this with people I feel comfortable doing that with. It just seems too hard to understand and before I came away I knew I may not see him. He was the one I said to Jac, I hope I see all the kids but with Tino I just don’t know. I remember so strongly saying it. It was as if I knew or I was being prepared not to see him. Today he has a very high fever. But on his nappy it says God bless you. It's written all over it in very tiny writing.

Tracey has been a rock through this. Coming back we made it in time for church but some how celebration was not on my heart. I sat at the back of church and really struggled to hold it together with the emotion of the last few days. Church was hard for a number of reasons.

We were asked to pray for Rolland as he is meant to be coming for the international conference but isn’t well enough to be at Zimpeto.

After church was over tonight I went to Tracey’s house to pick up a few parcels and stayed for a cuppa tea …. An hour and a bit later I was leaving. Talking to Tracey is just lovely. She is such a nice women and so approachable. I feel having spoken to her these last few days about various things I would have such a better feeling about coming back. It really has been a blessing sharing these weeks with her. I do hope that her adoptions come through soon. So here I am at 10.30pm cooking my first proper meal of the day. Hamburgers – if its not donkey!

I also don’t think adopting Vasco and Lucy will be possible. They have a father! He has remarried but at the moment it living next to an open sewer and obviously Iris would not let kids go back to that. I am happy they are not total orphans and one day should go back into the family.

Tino today is really in a vegetative state and tomorrow it will have been a month since he went in first of all. He was out for a few nights before I went it but went back in on this Thursday when it was safer to travel. In a place where we have seen miracles and people raised from the dead it’s hard to understand why not Tino. Heidi will be here for the international conference. Tracey really wants her to pray for Tino not because she think he will be healed by Heidi does have a gifting there. I hope it’s a private thing.